Rajesh and I went on our first vacation without Kav this past weekend. I felt a mix of excitement and nervousness before leaving. And I was nervous as much about Kav's reaction as my own. I did know he was real comfortable with my parents. He loves them to bits and my mom has taken care of him forever. So my intuition said he would be just fine.
So we left Friday evening just as my mom was getting ready to put him to bed. He didn't seem to sense we were leaving and slept fine that night. But I shed a few tears on the way to the train station. At one point, I so wanted to just turn the auto around and take him with us! But once we reached the station and mom called me to say he dozed off fine, it just felt that it would all turn out great.
And it did...
I enjoyed my time totally with Rajesh. We talked about Kav all the time without feeling guilty or worried. I noted things that he would have liked, but never once thought that I should have brought him along. We did hiking, travelling and candlelight dinner that would have been just impossible with him. My parents took him out on all the 3 days, so he thoroughly was occupied as well. Whenever I called him, it didn't seem like he realised anything.
When we returned this morning, Kav was sleeping and I would have to be honest to say that I had butterflies in my stomach anticipating his reaction. Rajesh went to his pick him from the crib when he woke up. He looked at both our faces and it took him some seconds to wake up fully to register who we were. When he saw me, he broke into a cry that just broke my heart. But he stopped as soon as I hugged him, and all was back to normal after that. After a couple of minutes, he just wanted to be let down to play!
He seemed like a different baby to me at first glance. Too tall, too lean, too distant. But the world just seems right now, as he ignores me and continues with his play and tantrums!!
Our vacation photos are here.
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