Kavin just loves my mom. She has been around from his birth and even stayed with me for the first 2 months. Hubby and I have left him with her on many occasions to go out for quick dinners and shopping. So, a few days back, I went out with my sis for a few hours in the afternoon while she was watching over him. Man did I pay for it. I got a cold shoulder from K when I got back. He refused to make eye contact, didn't play with me and certainly no smile. All this while he was so charming and sweet with my sis. And it continued even as I nursed him and afterwards!
Come on, I'm your mom, I screamed. Everybody comes and goes, and he has never been this non-responsive even to strangers! Well, after being IN HIS FACE for an hour or so and promising never to leave the house ever in my life and threatening to cry and all, he relented and grabbed my nose. Huge relief for me. The only reason I can think of for his anger is that I've always been the one to feed him. But this time I tried to take advantage of the fact that he has started solids and my mom fed him cereal while I was away. Could that be why?
Rajesh as usual thinks I am reading too much into it. And I don't blame him. In my previous avatar, I would have been very cynical of such stories. But now I know that babies are much more grown up and aware than I thought possible. And I have two witnesses who watched the whole spectacle with utmost glee and even tried to make me more jealous by getting K's attention!
Friday, September 23, 2005
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
All about these toys
I seem to be playing with his toys more than he does!! After all the research and hunting around that we do, Kavin plays with them for like 2 secs.
Our adventure with toys started with rattles. Everyone seemed to be gifting us with rattles when he was couple of months old. He was soon turning in the direction of sound, reaching out to them, and soon holding and shaking them. Now when I thrust it in front of him, he grabs and drops it, and then gives me a bored look as if I am giving him old toys.
We then got him a Kick &Play carnival. His kicks were rewarded with lights and sound. He soon got the hang of it and could kick around for 10 mins, sometimes more. But he would twist his little body and watch TV while kicking; so that's the bigger draw than the rotating ferris wheel.
Next came teething rings and soft toys. He absolutely loves to chew them. As long as I am holding them for His Royal Highness. Else he drops them and starts to call out for mommy.
Then there was this crib mobile that I absolutely had to get. My best bud who had her baby at the same time as me swore by them. All I could lay my hands on was a winding thingy, so I got the most colorful one. K would look at it as long as the music came on, which is about 3 mins. After which I have to run in to wind it up again. He actually entertains himself by talking in the crib and playing with his mosquito netting or bumpers rather than the mobile. My advice: Go with the remote controlled one that lasts atleast 15 mins.
So do you think I learnt anything from these? Nada. Just this past weekend, we went out more toys shopping, and got him a walker cum rocker, a pull and wriggle toy, another one that goes 1-2-3 and some snap together beads. So far, I have been doing the pulling, learning math and struggling with the beads (those things are tough)! He has been sitting on the walker though and playing with the box in which the beads came!!
And his fav toy is what can be called a 'raatnam'; a cheap plastic toy with plastic straws strung with flowers and beads that rotates real fast when I 'key' it. So there again, we gotta wind it for baby to enjoy it. But it silences even his loudest cries. So it is worth its Rs 60 in gold!
So save your money (atleast till the lil one can sit up), and just get your baby some spoons, crinking paper, newspaper to tear apart and some colorful books to chew on, for hours of fun. And our best investment is our own time; playing peekabo, telling stories or singing songs (he is not yet judgemental!). So I am trying to brush up on some Panchatantra tales now.
Our adventure with toys started with rattles. Everyone seemed to be gifting us with rattles when he was couple of months old. He was soon turning in the direction of sound, reaching out to them, and soon holding and shaking them. Now when I thrust it in front of him, he grabs and drops it, and then gives me a bored look as if I am giving him old toys.
We then got him a Kick &Play carnival. His kicks were rewarded with lights and sound. He soon got the hang of it and could kick around for 10 mins, sometimes more. But he would twist his little body and watch TV while kicking; so that's the bigger draw than the rotating ferris wheel.
Next came teething rings and soft toys. He absolutely loves to chew them. As long as I am holding them for His Royal Highness. Else he drops them and starts to call out for mommy.
Then there was this crib mobile that I absolutely had to get. My best bud who had her baby at the same time as me swore by them. All I could lay my hands on was a winding thingy, so I got the most colorful one. K would look at it as long as the music came on, which is about 3 mins. After which I have to run in to wind it up again. He actually entertains himself by talking in the crib and playing with his mosquito netting or bumpers rather than the mobile. My advice: Go with the remote controlled one that lasts atleast 15 mins.
So do you think I learnt anything from these? Nada. Just this past weekend, we went out more toys shopping, and got him a walker cum rocker, a pull and wriggle toy, another one that goes 1-2-3 and some snap together beads. So far, I have been doing the pulling, learning math and struggling with the beads (those things are tough)! He has been sitting on the walker though and playing with the box in which the beads came!!
And his fav toy is what can be called a 'raatnam'; a cheap plastic toy with plastic straws strung with flowers and beads that rotates real fast when I 'key' it. So there again, we gotta wind it for baby to enjoy it. But it silences even his loudest cries. So it is worth its Rs 60 in gold!
So save your money (atleast till the lil one can sit up), and just get your baby some spoons, crinking paper, newspaper to tear apart and some colorful books to chew on, for hours of fun. And our best investment is our own time; playing peekabo, telling stories or singing songs (he is not yet judgemental!). So I am trying to brush up on some Panchatantra tales now.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Old journal
My old journal entries can be viewed at http://www.babiesonline.com/journal/journal_view.asp?be=r/rrbaby1.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
More lessons
Baby knows best
Really. I just have to follow my son's cues for feeding, sleeping, playing, and life becomes so much easier. Force feeding causes spit ups. I end up with sore arm muscles and a grumpy face if I keep rocking him when he is not ready to sleep. So keep your eyes and ears open, and learn to gauge their moods.
Is hubby deaf?
Yup. It has really stumped me as to how he could sleep through a newborn's incessant crying at night. But the male species can. And that is the feedback that I got from a few other mom's too. So unless you have a pre-nup that says your hubby has to help with night time feedings and crankiness and diaper changes, forget about it! You are on your own, sister.
Breastfeeding ain't easy
Books say that a newborn can be placed on a mom's tummy and that it will crawl right up and start suckling for milk. Are you kidding?? No doubt, some babies are natural. Most are not. You have to pay a lot of attention to holding him right, getting him to latch right and a hundred other things for bfing to work. So for mommies committed to bfing or are willing to give it a try, wait atleast 6 weeks to work out the kinks before you decide to call it quits. If it works out, it's awesome. I totally enjoy nursing Kavin. Holding those cute, little hands, listening to his small talk and watching him smile at me when feeding is so special.
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/ has some great information.
Mommies are the primary caregiver
Of course, your mom is around to help. Sometimes hubby too. But at the end of the day, it is your responsibility to take care of your baby. Everybody has their own life and will get back to it after the initial months or the initial thrill of having a baby in the family subsides. It can be overwhelming and tiring to get through the day without help. Just accept your responsibility and don't let negative emotions get the better of you. I just keep thinking that my baby is going to be so small only for so long. So cuddle him and bathe him and rock him and feed him before he outgrows it all!
Really. I just have to follow my son's cues for feeding, sleeping, playing, and life becomes so much easier. Force feeding causes spit ups. I end up with sore arm muscles and a grumpy face if I keep rocking him when he is not ready to sleep. So keep your eyes and ears open, and learn to gauge their moods.
Is hubby deaf?
Yup. It has really stumped me as to how he could sleep through a newborn's incessant crying at night. But the male species can. And that is the feedback that I got from a few other mom's too. So unless you have a pre-nup that says your hubby has to help with night time feedings and crankiness and diaper changes, forget about it! You are on your own, sister.
Breastfeeding ain't easy
Books say that a newborn can be placed on a mom's tummy and that it will crawl right up and start suckling for milk. Are you kidding?? No doubt, some babies are natural. Most are not. You have to pay a lot of attention to holding him right, getting him to latch right and a hundred other things for bfing to work. So for mommies committed to bfing or are willing to give it a try, wait atleast 6 weeks to work out the kinks before you decide to call it quits. If it works out, it's awesome. I totally enjoy nursing Kavin. Holding those cute, little hands, listening to his small talk and watching him smile at me when feeding is so special.
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/ has some great information.
Mommies are the primary caregiver
Of course, your mom is around to help. Sometimes hubby too. But at the end of the day, it is your responsibility to take care of your baby. Everybody has their own life and will get back to it after the initial months or the initial thrill of having a baby in the family subsides. It can be overwhelming and tiring to get through the day without help. Just accept your responsibility and don't let negative emotions get the better of you. I just keep thinking that my baby is going to be so small only for so long. So cuddle him and bathe him and rock him and feed him before he outgrows it all!
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Lessons learnt so far
Well, these are my new mommy lessons, learnt in no particular order:
Life changes drastically
You have heard a million parents say that their life changed forever after their baby. And you wonder 'How much CAN it change?'. The answer: Totally.
Dosen't matter if you were a party animal or a homebody. Whether you loved to cook and clean or be out and about. You cannot really imagine what your life will be like with a small boy around. Especially when he has you around his little fingers; his needs and wants supercedes anything and everything.
Not much goes your way
If you are like me, you read all the books you can lay your hands on about pregnancy. You join all the websites to chat with other pregnant women. You throw out terms like water birthing and lamaze to your bewildered hubby. You tell your doctor in no under uncertain terms that you want an epidural and do not want an episiotomy (if you don't know what this is, please don't learn).
And what happens of D-Day? You give birth in a car on the way to the hospital!! Thankfully, nothing so dramatic happened for me. But I did give birth in a position that I did not want. I was given meds to induce contraction that I did not ask for. I had to wait for the doc to arrive even though I was ready to push. There was a small error with the epidural (didn't suffer any side effects though). No scented candles and soothing music around. All I wanted was to get done with it. And none of the above really mattered once I held my son!!
What happened to 'mommy' feelings?
Remember those mushy scenes in movies where a mom cries non-stop after holding her baby. They make eye contact when nursing and seem to shut out the world instantly. Well, it does happen to many moms. It dosen't happen to many either.
As for me, I did love my baby immediately. I did feel joy on first setting eyes on him. But I also felt relief. And certainly didn't feel any earth-shaking bonding. It took some getting used to having him around. I did feel some guilt and bewilderment initially at my lack of over-the-top emotions. But now, after 5 months, I can honestly say that I can go to the ends of the earth to make my son happy. And I happily accept that life is not a movie.
Daddies are different for a reason
I expect daddy to mother my son the way I do. Hold him a certain way, rock him a certain way, play with him without any distractions, make eye contact with him whenever he looks at you and a hundred other rules. But hubby works on the laptop when playing with him. And hardly ever has the patience to rock him to sleep. I was so paranoid that my son was going to hate his daddy. But what really happens? His first giggles are when talking with daddy. He loves playing with daddy. He prefers daddy over me when he comes back from work. He loves to sit on daddy's lap and have such long conversations that I feel that he is complaining about me!
Well ladies, it just means that daddy IS doing something right! And time for me to stop obessing, and just enjoy the two handsome men having a great time.
Milestones are not set in stone
Babies are supposed to respond to noises at 3 months, start rolling over around the 4th month, start crawling at 7th month and on and on. The operative word is 'supposed to'. All babies ARE different. The most active baby may actually roll over only in the 6th month. A non-stop talker could walk only in the 2nd year. An early walker might begin to talk only at age 3.
Don't worry. Throw away those charts. Never force your baby to do something their lil body and brain are not ready for. But do consult your doctor if it bothers you too much.
Life changes drastically
You have heard a million parents say that their life changed forever after their baby. And you wonder 'How much CAN it change?'. The answer: Totally.
Dosen't matter if you were a party animal or a homebody. Whether you loved to cook and clean or be out and about. You cannot really imagine what your life will be like with a small boy around. Especially when he has you around his little fingers; his needs and wants supercedes anything and everything.
Not much goes your way
If you are like me, you read all the books you can lay your hands on about pregnancy. You join all the websites to chat with other pregnant women. You throw out terms like water birthing and lamaze to your bewildered hubby. You tell your doctor in no under uncertain terms that you want an epidural and do not want an episiotomy (if you don't know what this is, please don't learn).
And what happens of D-Day? You give birth in a car on the way to the hospital!! Thankfully, nothing so dramatic happened for me. But I did give birth in a position that I did not want. I was given meds to induce contraction that I did not ask for. I had to wait for the doc to arrive even though I was ready to push. There was a small error with the epidural (didn't suffer any side effects though). No scented candles and soothing music around. All I wanted was to get done with it. And none of the above really mattered once I held my son!!
What happened to 'mommy' feelings?
Remember those mushy scenes in movies where a mom cries non-stop after holding her baby. They make eye contact when nursing and seem to shut out the world instantly. Well, it does happen to many moms. It dosen't happen to many either.
As for me, I did love my baby immediately. I did feel joy on first setting eyes on him. But I also felt relief. And certainly didn't feel any earth-shaking bonding. It took some getting used to having him around. I did feel some guilt and bewilderment initially at my lack of over-the-top emotions. But now, after 5 months, I can honestly say that I can go to the ends of the earth to make my son happy. And I happily accept that life is not a movie.
Daddies are different for a reason
I expect daddy to mother my son the way I do. Hold him a certain way, rock him a certain way, play with him without any distractions, make eye contact with him whenever he looks at you and a hundred other rules. But hubby works on the laptop when playing with him. And hardly ever has the patience to rock him to sleep. I was so paranoid that my son was going to hate his daddy. But what really happens? His first giggles are when talking with daddy. He loves playing with daddy. He prefers daddy over me when he comes back from work. He loves to sit on daddy's lap and have such long conversations that I feel that he is complaining about me!
Well ladies, it just means that daddy IS doing something right! And time for me to stop obessing, and just enjoy the two handsome men having a great time.
Milestones are not set in stone
Babies are supposed to respond to noises at 3 months, start rolling over around the 4th month, start crawling at 7th month and on and on. The operative word is 'supposed to'. All babies ARE different. The most active baby may actually roll over only in the 6th month. A non-stop talker could walk only in the 2nd year. An early walker might begin to talk only at age 3.
Don't worry. Throw away those charts. Never force your baby to do something their lil body and brain are not ready for. But do consult your doctor if it bothers you too much.
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