Lessons learnt so far

Well, these are my new mommy lessons, learnt in no particular order:

Life changes drastically
You have heard a million parents say that their life changed forever after their baby. And you wonder 'How much CAN it change?'. The answer: Totally.

Dosen't matter if you were a party animal or a homebody. Whether you loved to cook and clean or be out and about. You cannot really imagine what your life will be like with a small boy around. Especially when he has you around his little fingers; his needs and wants supercedes anything and everything.

Not much goes your way
If you are like me, you read all the books you can lay your hands on about pregnancy. You join all the websites to chat with other pregnant women. You throw out terms like water birthing and lamaze to your bewildered hubby. You tell your doctor in no under uncertain terms that you want an epidural and do not want an episiotomy (if you don't know what this is, please don't learn).

And what happens of D-Day? You give birth in a car on the way to the hospital!! Thankfully, nothing so dramatic happened for me. But I did give birth in a position that I did not want. I was given meds to induce contraction that I did not ask for. I had to wait for the doc to arrive even though I was ready to push. There was a small error with the epidural (didn't suffer any side effects though). No scented candles and soothing music around. All I wanted was to get done with it. And none of the above really mattered once I held my son!!

What happened to 'mommy' feelings?
Remember those mushy scenes in movies where a mom cries non-stop after holding her baby. They make eye contact when nursing and seem to shut out the world instantly. Well, it does happen to many moms. It dosen't happen to many either.

As for me, I did love my baby immediately. I did feel joy on first setting eyes on him. But I also felt relief. And certainly didn't feel any earth-shaking bonding. It took some getting used to having him around. I did feel some guilt and bewilderment initially at my lack of over-the-top emotions. But now, after 5 months, I can honestly say that I can go to the ends of the earth to make my son happy. And I happily accept that life is not a movie.

Daddies are different for a reason
I expect daddy to mother my son the way I do. Hold him a certain way, rock him a certain way, play with him without any distractions, make eye contact with him whenever he looks at you and a hundred other rules. But hubby works on the laptop when playing with him. And hardly ever has the patience to rock him to sleep. I was so paranoid that my son was going to hate his daddy. But what really happens? His first giggles are when talking with daddy. He loves playing with daddy. He prefers daddy over me when he comes back from work. He loves to sit on daddy's lap and have such long conversations that I feel that he is complaining about me!

Well ladies, it just means that daddy IS doing something right! And time for me to stop obessing, and just enjoy the two handsome men having a great time.

Milestones are not set in stone
Babies are supposed to respond to noises at 3 months, start rolling over around the 4th month, start crawling at 7th month and on and on. The operative word is 'supposed to'. All babies ARE different. The most active baby may actually roll over only in the 6th month. A non-stop talker could walk only in the 2nd year. An early walker might begin to talk only at age 3.

Don't worry. Throw away those charts. Never force your baby to do something their lil body and brain are not ready for. But do consult your doctor if it bothers you too much.